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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

A Short History of Mother 3

A few weeks ago, on April 20th, Mother 3 had its 17th anniversary. Released for the Gameboy Advance in 2006, it was the third and final game in the Mother (known as Earthbound outside of Japan) series. The games were written and directed by Shigesato Itoi, and are beloved for their quirky humor (with virtually all text written by Itoi himself) and humorous subversions of RPG conventions. Mother 3 is especially notable for its much darker and heavier story, its tagline being “strange, funny, and heartrending”. Also notable about Mother 3 is the unfortunate circumstance of its release. Despite being so well known and beloved outside of Japan, it has never gotten an official non-Japanese release. Despite this, it is incredibly beloved by people all over the world, and its impact cannot be understated. I wanted to take a look back at Mother 3, its history, and what the future may hold.

Mother 3, despite releasing over ten years after Earthbound, began development shortly after Earthbound finished. Earthbound had sold well (in Japan; it bombed everywhere else) and Nintendo wanted to capitalize on it. Itoi had ambitious ideas about the game, ideas too ambitious for the Nintendo 64 to handle. As a result, it was taking too long to develop. There’s a theme that comes up a few times when it comes to Mother 3 releasing: circumstances just don’t line up for it. It was being made at a time when things at Nintendo were tumultuous. Nintendo just didn’t have the manpower to spare for Mother 3 after a certain point, and development needed to stop.

What’s notable about the development of Mother 3 is that key figures at Nintendo, Satoru Iwata and Shigeru Miyamoto, seemed to be personally invested in it. Mother 3 was not some small forgotten personal project, it was a product Nintendo was willing to put a lot of investment in. Sometimes, circumstances simply don’t line up. Eventually, they did line up, and Mother 3 would release for the Gameboy Advance in 2006. 

Something I found ironic about the development cycle of Mother 3 is that western gaming media were well aware of it. IGN was reporting on it in 1999 and 2000, and were fully expecting the game to release at some point. An expectation that’s been betrayed thoroughly, as not only was “Earthbound 64” never released, but Mother 3 would become infamous for never getting an official release outside of Japan. 

And that is indeed the most infamous aspect about the game. It is a beloved game, and actually quite well known in Nintendo gaming circles, but it has never received an official localization. It is so beloved, in fact, that fans spent the better part of 5 years making an unofficial translation because they cared about it so much. So, why was it never localized? Well, as I alluded to, circumstances didn’t line up for it. Mother 3 released on the Gameboy Advance in 2006, a full 2 years after Nintendo’s next handheld console, the Nintendo DS, had released in 2004. The Gameboy Advance had pretty much been phased out entirely in the west by the time Mother 3 could have released. Considering Earthbound also did not sell well, Nintendo had plenty of reasons not to localize Mother 3. The circumstances did not line up for it.

That’s why it didn’t release initially, but what about a re-release? It’s a well known game now, with Nintendo fans constantly egging Nintendo on about an official release. It has also been rereleased a few times on modern Nintendo consoles; but only in Japanese. So why is there still no official English version of Mother 3?

It all comes back to the circumstances. Mother 3 is a very old game at this point, and all the re-releases are emulations; unlike the first two Mother games, an English version simply does not exist. A new version of Mother 3 would have to be made. Nintendo would have to go back and edit a Gameboy Advance game, a risky prospect given all the new things they could focus on instead. I’ve seen fans ask if Nintendo could just use the fan translation, but that is also unfeasible. Nintendo is a company that likes to have complete control over everything it makes, and would not use a translation they did not oversee. It’s an admirable effort by passionate fans, one that Nintendo has even implicitly approved, but it is not suitable for a wide release. Like many things in Mother 3’s past, the circumstances did not line up.

That being said, I think an official localization of Mother 3 is inevitable. It’s a well known game at this point, and Nintendo is well aware of its popularity. It’s hardly a taboo topic as well, as they’ve referenced it plenty of times. What it would take is not a mere re-release, but a remake. If there’s ever a new version of Mother 3, made from the ground up, it would absolutely get an official localization. If only because there would be people at Nintendo who want it to be released. I don’t doubt that that will happen someday, but it remains to be seen how long it will take. 

Although, the original Gameboy Advance version of Mother 3 getting an official localization isn’t totally out of the cards either. The first Fire Emblem game, for the NES, was released with an English translation for the Nintendo Switch in 2021. It’s totally possible that something similar could be done for Mother 3. The game is such a landmark, and very important in the history of video game storytelling. It’s only a matter of time before it gets its due.

Mother 3

Tips for Each Salmon Run Boss

I’ve been playing Salmon Run in Splatoon 3 pretty consistently and have been able to stay in Professional-Eggxecutive during that whole time. I was also able to get in the top 5% during the first Big Run. All of this exclusively as a Freelance worker.

I know this is a little late, but I hope these tips will help some people. These tips are things that sometimes help keep a wave under control or help deal with certain threats more effectively.

In general, it’s sometimes better to leave a threat alone or cripple it. I don’t just mean luring. If a Fish Stick is no where near the basket or a high traffic area, there are usually better things to deal with.


Steelheads - MID PRIORITY 

    • Generally you should only deal with a Steelhead if you have a weapon with good range.
    • You can ignore them to an extent but if they are near the basket they are HIGH PRIORITY.
    • Remember that squid roll’s (from wall or floor) give you armor and thus let you survive the bomb.

Flyfish - HIGH PRIORITY

    • Sometimes it’s better to cripple a Flyfish than spend many resources to kill it.
    • If you destroy one basket, then they can only target close players.
    • This will also mean that the crippled Flyfish counts towards to 4 maximum that can spawn.
    • Sometimes it’s better to just deal with the missiles than it is to kill a Flyfish, they take A LOT of resources.
    • Generally, using a whole special to kill a single Flyfish isn’t worth it. Killing 2 absolutely is though.
    • Reefslider can kill it, but only if the shark itself hits the Flyfish itself, not just the baskets

Scrappers - LOW PRIORITY 

    • Scrappers will perfectly guard against your attacks. Use this to point their backside to your teamates.
    • Don’t be afraid to use ink to hit their shield and stall them out, Scrappers are most dangerous when they’re moving.
    • They can drop down ledges like the mobs, so be mindful of that.
    • And of course, lure them to the basket. Them and Maws are the easiest to do this to.

Steel Eels - MID PRIORITY

    • They cannot travel up or down walls. Use this to escape and control their pathing
    • This also makes high vantage points the best way to kill them.
    • They only target one player. If you know you are being targeted, make sure it doesn’t mess with your team
    • Reefslider can slide right through them. You are still vulnerable at the start and end of it though.

Stinger - HIGH PRIORITY

    • Each pot has 60 HP, they aren’t just One-Hit kills
    • They target the furthest player from them. It’s usually impossible to predict in the chaos, but if you can see it coming you can prepare
    • It depends whether this or Flyfish are a higher priority. Stingers have an immediate impact and are easier to kill so if I have the weapon I usually just go for it.
    • Even if you don’t have the perfect weapon, if you have the chance to kill a Stinger you should. A charger isn’t perfect for getting Stingers but it gets the job done
    • Slow fire weapons like Dynamo Roller shouldn’t even bother
    • Blasters are the best weapons for dealing with Stingers. If you have a blaster, consider yourself on Stinger duty

Maws - LOW PRIORITY

    • You can kill a maw by shooting it. It has 1200 HP, but sometimes you just don’t have the ink for a bomb
    • They can travel ANYWHERE as long as it connects to ground. Be cautious if you’re perched up on top a Fishstick tower
    • Unlike Steel Eels they will switch targets after an attack. If it attacks a teamate, you can get close to it and have it follow you instead
      • (I think. I’m pretty sure I’ve done this)
    • Don’t neglect the ink they leave when they swim

Drizzlers - HIGH PRIORITY

    • Sometimes the missile is more important than the fish
    • Sometimes the missile is more important that MOST OF THE OTHER BOSSES
    • Unless you are CERTAIN the fish will die, hit the missile
    • The fish has 900 HP. Most weapons can’t kill it in a single cycle, but some of them can.
    • More than one teamate can kill a fish for sure in a single cycle
    • When it aims the missile, it will aim in the direction of the player closest to it when it starts aiming
    • You can see what direction the missile is aiming by looking at the launcher
    • Use this to your advantage by making the cloud travel in a direction that won’t hurt your team
      • ONLY do this if you and/or a teamate are ready to kill it instantly.
      • Otherwise shoot the missile back at it
    • A missile from a different Drizzler can kill another Drizzler. Not that helpful, but it’s funny

Fishsticks - MID PRIORITY

    • You don’t need to climb the tower to kill it. If you have the range, you can fill them from the ground.
    • However you will need to go up there eventually to get the eggs
    • Chargers can ink an entire side with a fully charged shot at the top.
    • Use this for every wall in Salmon Run but especially here.
    • You can use Squid Surge to get to the top even if the whole side isn’t inked. Try and get a feel for how much ink you DON’T need to get to the top of a Fish Stick
    • Fishticks are HIGH PRIORITY if they are in a high traffic area, such as near the basket. Their ability to ink quickly is unparalleled among the bosses
    • If all the fish are killed before the stick lands, it will get destroyed. Keep this in mind during the Cohock turret mode
      • you can decide if you want a sightline active or want the sticks for an emergency option
    • In general, only one person needs to go up a Fishstick stick. Long range weapons should have priority

Flip Floppers - LOW PRIORITY

    • If you ink their zone, their armor will break. This means you can kill them very easily in the air if they become active again
    • you can cripple them when they are far away to make them easier.
    • It’s likely your teamates will just kill them outright though
    • Once their zone is inked, it will stay you color until they land. This makes them a temporary safe zone where you can replenish health
    • Appreciate the form they put into their jumps, they worked hard for that

Big Shots - HIGH PRIORITY

    • Big Shots have a gargantuan 1200 HP(!!!), so make sure you’re ready to commit to killing one
    • Even high DPS weapons will have trouble against that. Try and make sure you have a teamate with you if you intend to take them out
    • As a rule of thumb, just 2 teamates though. It’s easy to get distracted and do nothing but kill Big Shots and launch the eggs. They still need to be collected
    • That being said, don’t be afraid to take out certain targets and take advantage of the cannon. Might as well take care of a Steelhead while you can
    • Of the 3 HIGH PRIORITY targets, Big Shots are the lowest. While they attack from the shore, it’s only localized at the basket, unlike the global range of the Flyfish and Stinger. They also take much longer to kill
    • You can sing “NOW’S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A BIG SHOT” to take some of the edge off
    • A single cannon ball will make 2 shockwaves. Keeping this in mind makes them easier to dodge

Slammin’ Lid - MID PRIORITY

    • You don’t need to be on top of the saucer to kill a Slammin’ Lid. A weapon with the right range and vantage point can take it out just fine
    • Don’t be afraid to stay on top of a Slammin’ Lid for a better vantage point and brief reprieve. You could even kill a different Slammin’ Lid first!
      • They do have an attack if you stay on for too long. Be mindful of that
      • You can jump over it, but the timing is a little tight
    • Lids kill other bosses instantly, but don’t keep them around for that
    • Lids spawn more mobs so they should be taken out as soon as they can
    • Definitely slam them to kill a boss if you can. But don’t die for it.
    • Be mindful of the way terrain will mess with their slam. You could walk under them but then the slam does not reach you, or leaves the saucer at an angle that is inaccessible.


And these are only off the top of my head. Let me know if this helps!

Splatoon Splatoon 3 Salmon Run Salmonid

Been playing a lot of Dwarf Fortress lately. I’ve taken to it pretty well but there’s a small issue.

My fort is an inefficient piece of shit, has been attacked by forgotten beasts three times, has two more skulking about underground, has been attacked by reptile people, all of which has lead to about 80 dwarves dying in total, keeps getting shit stolen from it, and migrants won’t stop coming here. I already have enough on my plate! Stop!

“Migrants have arrived, despite the danger.” YEAH IT’S DANGEROUS! SO STOP COMING HERE!!!! I HAVE ENOUGH ON MY PLATE ALREADY

dwarf fortress

When the Literal and the Figurative Merges

One of my favorite things media does is when the figurative ideas a character represents is embodied in how they are literally represented. When the figurative and the literal are merged, or when the line is blurred.

Spamton from Deltarune wants to be a [Big Shot] and is literally small in stature. He literally wants to be BIG.The idea he represents - wanting to make it big in a business or fame sense - is made manifest in his desire to be literally be bigger than his small stature.

Luffy from One Piece loves freedom and insults bounce right off of him. He’s literally made of rubber, stretching beyond the boundaries of a normal human and being bouncy.

I don’t know if this quite makes sense? As fictional characters, writers can make the ideas they represent manifest physically (in their own world). It’s an interesting quirk of character writing.

Fiction spamton deltarune luffy one piece